Proper engagement hopes given up

I can't remember if any of my blogs actually link to this one or not. Chances are few folks are going to run across this. But if you have, thanks. :-)

I am in the RCIA program to join our local Catholic Church. My husband was raised Catholic. I was raised United Methodist. When we were married in December of 1998, we were married at my family's church, St. Luke UMC, where Bill & I had been attending together.

Now that I am coming into the Catholic Church, we need to have our marriage recognized by the Church. One of the ways to do so is to exchange new vows. Since we didn't have ALL traditional vows at our "first wedding" and for a few other reasons, we decided to go ahead and arrange to exchange vows.

I wanted to play this up a bunch. Few get the chance to get remarried while they are still married! I gave Bill the engagement ring back (kept the wedding band on) in hopes that he would propose the "right way" this time. The first time was WAY to casual. I gave him the ring back over a month ago, I'd say. Well, we met with the priest this past Tuesday to discuss matters further. We have a meeting with the priest this coming Tuesday to discuss more details. However, I still didn't have my ring back. I had even left a gift card to a nice restaurant with the ring.

This would have been quite simple. Take me out to one of the restaurants on the card. After dinner, over coffee/wine/whatever, get down on one knee and give me the ring back. Simple, eh? I thought so. Oh well. He said the other day that he hadn't done it yet because he felt that it would be to "scripted." It's not really going to be a surprise. We're already married. I've already agreed to "marry" him again.

I had a dream last night that the ring went missing. I told him this morning before we even up that I had the dream and was taking the ring back. I don't think he really believed me because I had said such things previously. But I did. I went to his drawer and got it out & put it on. I even dug the gift card back out as well. Of course he didn't stop me. I'm not sure how he felt about me doing that, but I was ready to have it back. I had been wearing one of my old rings in its place. A ring which was missing a stone. That missing stone started to drive me crazy.
He asked if I was upset with him. "Just a little bummed," I said. Later, he just said that I was too impatient. "You were never going to do it!" I said. He said, "You're just too impatient." Oh well. Perhaps I was, but seriously, I think you had plenty of time and was probably never going to anyway.

This does bring tears to my eyes. Guess I shouldn't have even suggested it. You can't give up hope if you never had it in the first place.